I wasn’t that fussed on Mate, a how-to guide for straight men seeking a high calibre of women. But some of what Max and Miller had to say stayed with me, and I mentioned it to a colleague who pointed out that such books are targeted towards straight men, so perhaps I should ease up on the feminist filter.
In all fairness, Max and Miller are advocating against tactics of entitlement and MRAs. If you want an attractive, fit woman, you’d better start working on your image. Women don’t owe you shit, and especially not if you show up to a date in tracksuits and several days of facial hair while simultaneously expecting a supermodel to show up. Possess the same qualities that you want in a woman – if you want well-groomed, well-spoken, well-rounded, well, hit the gym and develop your interests. Most of what they had to say was common sense, and addresses the entitlement that a lot of straight men seem to possess, that they have a ‘right’ to something that they themselves don’t bring to the table. They give no leeway for what’s expected of them; be the person you want from a relationship, or stop wasting a woman’s time.
Part of my initial dislike of the book was some of the language used, particularly distinguishing between ‘good’ slutty (a woman who is open and honest anout what she wants) and ‘crazy’ slutty (a woman who wants to be the former woman, but lacks the confidence, so suffers from buyer’s remorse). I get what they mean, but it’s such a problematic word and while I doubt they’ll ever see this, let alone do anything about it, I would love to see Max and Miller address this.
Ultimately, Mate is not the only such guide on the market, but it’s definitely the most palatable outside its targeted demographic. Max and Miller have no tolerance for men acting like hypocrites or making excuses for their behaviour, and I’d love to see the advice they give gain some traction in our culture.